Shy Boy
by BrotherAddict
Summary: As Tadashi devotes his time in his project, Hiro has been feeling neglected and bored during the pass weeks. He soon discovers a tablet underneath Tadashi's bed where the eldest keeps his secret "interest". With this kind of information, Hiro starts to develop the same interest as his older brother and even wishes to take action upon it..
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hello and thank you for reading my first fan fiction posted on this account! To make this short, this fan fiction was inspired by a doujin called "Shy Girl" by URAN. Of course, it's not an actual copy of the doujin but if you're curious about it you can go and check it out! (Warning: It contains brother/sister plus underage incest so if that's not your cup of tea then I advice you not to read it). I added my own interests as well, to make it more "free-form" or original. I already feel bad about basing this on another story but I've been craving to write my own Hidashi fan fiction so here's my attempt! I hope you enjoy it.**_

I pick up my pencil and gently start scribbling a few words on my journal. It's a Friday night and right now I'm trying to finish some homework that'll probably be due in a few days. It's very unlikely of me to get things done early but when you're alone with no personal interest on improving your own fighting robots you gotta do what you gotta do to keep yourself from dying out of boredom.

Not only am I busying myself with my homework, I can't take my eyes out of my alarm clock as the seconds slowly ticks away. It's 8:37 and Tadashi said he'll be home around 9:00 to watch a movie with me. A movie with your bro doesn't sound much fun but it's honestly better than being alone in a quiet room with no one to bug around.

After finishing the last problem, I close my journal shut and push it away, relief that I was productive for tonight. I take out my cell as soon as it beep a message from Tadashi. I unlock the screen, eager to read the words he'll be on his way.

"Sorry lil bro but I can't make it tonight. Will be staying at the lab again. I promise we'll make it up another time. Good night."

I lock my screen and carelessly throw my phone to the bed, along with myself. I let the soft comforter suffocate me as I try to hold in my bad mood.

"It's not fair!" I scream against my covers as I start a mild tantrum.

I'm getting sick of Tadashi always bailing on me and pushing me away and thinking it's okay to text me instead of calling me when he ditches on me!

After a few heated screams and breaths, I was able to calm down, now embarrass with my small tantrum. I stand up, walking around my shared room and try to think of a way to spend my free Friday night without Tadashi!

I stop at my desk, eyeing at my small metal friend. I gently grab him, lifting him and inspecting his features.

I could always go bot fighting...

It has been awhile and having a rush of danger can sure lift my spirits!

However...

I sigh, putting the robot back in place and slump back into my bed.

"I just have no motivation..." I mumble to myself.

I close my eyes, letting the heavy feeling of helplessness overcome me. I almost feel suffocated, as if boredom itself is pushing me against my mattress.

I twist and turn around my bed, trying to think of something, anything to do.

I turn my head and my sight lands on Tadashi's side of the room. The wooden boards is slightly open, I'm able to see his bed.

I slowly raise my head. An idea begins to spark in me and I can feel myself coming back to life. I can feel my lips turn up into a smirk and I let out a mischievously chuckle as I make my way to Tadashi's side of the room.

I slowly push the walls apart, welcoming myself into Tadashi's personal space. A hint of guilt comes to me but I quickly got rid of it when I remember how Tadashi isn't around much to keep me company.

I immediately start looking for Baymax but I mentally slap myself. The big guy isn't here. Because of him, Tadashi is staying overnight in the lab working on extra features. Having my two favorite people away can sure feel lonely... I quickly shake that thought away and start digging through Tadashi's stuff.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for or expecting but anything new is good, as long as it keeps me entertained.

I make sure to carefully put things back where they were, making sure every book and paper were in the same place as it was before. His bookcase has nothing but old textbooks, reference books, and journals, filled with notes. Inside his drawers are stationary and tools. Nothing seems to be interesting in here...

I sigh, as I lazily scan through an old journal of his as I flop myself on his bed, not bothering to hide my tracks anymore.

This whole expedition turns out to be a disappointing one. Nothing seems new or different. It was...boring.

I groan and stretch my limbs across the bed, hating how I'm back to being bored.

"Screw this, I'm going to sleep..." I huff out some air as I stand up to put the journal away.

I don't realize how fast I move until I trip and catch myself on the desk, knocking out a few pencils to the ground.

I curse myself, putting the journal away and kneel down to pick up the mess I made. A few roll under his bed so I had to squeeze myself between the tight spots to grab that one lousy pencil.

My fingers pass something smooth and cold and I let myself retrieve the object. I take it out, placing the last pencil back in place and sit on Tadashi's bed to examine the device.

"A tablet?"

I turn the tablet around, noticing it isn't like the ones the school provides or gives out to their students. I have one and so does Tadashi. So why would he need an extra one...

I immediately turn the device on, eager to find out what Tadashi has stored inside.

A lock screen comes on and asks for a pin. I begin to plug in a few numbers: his birthday, his lunch code, his favorite dish number at that one sushi place, anything!

I immediately stop myself and remember it can notify Tadashi if someone is trying to break in if he did had something to hide.

I pout a bit, tapping my fingers against the edges of the device until I remember something that can help.

I quickly run to my desk, taking the tablet with me and turn on my desktop. I remember I was working on a new hacking program a few weeks ago just for the hell of it. However, I'm not sure if it's ready to do any actual hacking.

"I guess I did had something to work on..." I mumble to myself as I immediately work on the program.

It's 11:27 when I finally completed the program. I smile to myself, satisfied to feel accomplished once again.

I plug in Tadashi's tablet into my computer and cross my fingers as the program do their work. I plug in a few codes and just in a few seconds, the tablet is unlock.

"Yes!" I holler in victory, almost in tears as I raise the tablet up high.

I quickly begin to slide my fingers around the screen, searching every memory of this device.

My first search begins in the Picture folder, which is empty. I then check the Music folder which is also empty. I tap on the Video folder, hoping for something, anything!

A list of videos begins show up and I tap the first one, curious to see what it is.

The video was half played, so it's playing where it was last stop at.

"Please... just do it. Do it now, I can't take it anymore...Ahh!"

I can feel my face burn red and my fingers growing warm and sweaty.

A beautiful lady, wearing nothing but a black skirt, is looking at me with heated, begging eyes. Her hair is long and black and it flair around her like a mane. I can't stop looking at her as she stares at me, mouth slightly open with drool sticking out.

I can feel my heart beat loud against my chest and as soon as the camera slowly moves down, I gasp and I can feel my pants getting tighter.

A hand slowly lifts up her skirt, revealing her private part. I can't help but avert my eyes away, feeling embarrass as I squirm around my seat. She suddenly separates her legs, giving me a full view and I yelp with excitement.

"Please...just put it in. I can't take it anymore, I need you!"

I gulp as hear those begging words right out of her mouth.

I slowly run my fingers in front of my pants.

I can't believe I'm watching this.

Especially from Tadashi.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Thank you for those who favorite/follow/like/comment or review my story! It means alot. One thing I like from y'all' feedback is that both reviews/comments from ao3 and mention something about the way I write. I'll honestly say this, I was tired yet inspired to write this fanfic and I knew if I didn't as soon as possible I was never gonna write it and publish it. I rush and I feel like I could have done better but what's done is done. :') Again, thanks for your comments, it means a lot and hopefull y'all will like this chapter as well!**_

"Hiro, are you alright? You're dazing off quite a bit?"

I flinch a bit and quickly focus my eyes on my brother instead of the window. "Y-Yea, sorry. I didn't get much sleep last night." I try so hard not blush on my little white-lie just now. It definitely isn't the lack of sleep that's keeping me thinking too much…

"Yea, I understand. The whole project with Baymax is keeping me up as well." Tadashi chuckles as he takes a sip of his coffee.

"But a promise is promise, it's been so long since we hanged out together like this." Tadashi smiles apologetically.

I smile back as I take a sip of my own drink. Right now we're having breakfast together in our favorite café. Tadashi promised me last night that we can have breakfast together and I was honestly thrilled. But now…I can't really concentrate around him, especially after what I _discover_ and what I've been doing with that _discovery_.

"It's alright if you were too tired to come. I would have understand." I assure him.

He shakes his head no and looks at me with warm eyes. "I can't do that. Especially since I feel like I've been neglecting you for a while."

No kidding.

"Plus, Honey Lemon would have given me a hard time about it. She's been nagging me about not spending time with you as much as I use to."

"Ah I see."

I begin to wonder about my brother again. What kind of girls does he like? Is Honey Lemon his type? Is she the one that Tadashi thinks when he watches does videos?

I can feel my face heat up when that statement came through me. I take another sip of my chocolate milk to calm myself down.

That's all I can think about ever since that night, the night when I found Tadashi's dirty collection. The type of girls were diverse but some of them were similar to Honey's features, even to Gogo's features. Does Tadashi has a thing for those two? Does he have a crush on them? Does Tadashi _wants_ to do those things with them? Maybe…even at the same time?

"Hiro, are you alright?"

Before I can answer, I feel a hand gently placing itself on my forehead.

"You feel warm… Do you have a fever?"

I can't help but blush more at Tadashi's touch. I can't help but think about my brother's taste in women and even about him doing _things_ with his two female friends right in front of him. What is wrong with me?

"Y-Yea, I'm fine. It's just a bit hot in here." I hide my uneasiness with a chuckle.

"I'll be right back" I said right before I quickly dash to the restroom.

I'm so relief that the restroom is empty as I race myself to the sink and splash some cold water on my face.

"Calm down, Hiro. This isn't like you, you're not a pervert…" I assure myself as I stare myself at the mirror.

"…And you specially don't talk to your reflection like this." I groan, feeling a bit embarrass about my pathetic situation.

Ever since that night, I've been thinking weird and even doing weird things! However, I don't really _regret_ about the whole event. No matter how _weird_ or _unusual_ this whole thing is, this is all about Tadashi. This is something about him that I'm sure I was never supposed to learn about him. Maybe that's why I'm so intrigue about this, because I'm learning about something so _vulgar_ about him. I'm learning about a new side of my older brother, who's been making me feel lonely throughout these past few weeks. This whole situation makes me feel a bit…closer to him. In a weird way…

I slap my cheeks and make sure I look decent and normal before I head out to meet with my brother.

"Okay, no more thinking of perverted things. It's time for some brother bonding." I mumble to myself as I walk to our table.

Right now we're at an outside mall, mostly for Tadashi since he's buying new clothes and a few reference books for his project. I follow my brother behind as I try to lick my melting ice cream off my hands.

"Sorry this isn't really an ideal hangout. I feel like I'm dragging you around on my errands." Tadashi apologizes as he turns around, taking a bite from his own cone. Seriously, how can someone just _bite_ on their ice cream?

"I don't mind" I shrug, honestly appreciating our time together. It's better than being stuck in home bored and lonely.

Tadashi smiles and continues walking as I try to catch up to walk beside him. "So what you been doing while I was gone during these past weeks?" He asks, obviously trying to make some conversation.

"Ya know. Going to classes, doing homework, helping Aunt Cass around the café." I mumble a bit, slightly blushing from not mention the other things I've been doing.

" _Masturbating to your porn collection that you hide under your bed."_

"That's good to hear. I can count on my bro to be a responsible lil man."

I scoff at him, slightly pouting at him. "I'm not a kid anymore. I'm going to be 15 in a few months."

Tadashi chuckles, nodding. "Ah, you're right. I can't believe you're growing up so fast. If you need any help on anything, just let me know." Tadashi nudges at me, laughing a bit.

"Help on what?" I raise an eyebrow, getting a bit fluster from his little offer.

"You know. _Guy_ problems. _Teenage boy_ things. Awkward things that boys in your age goes through."

Why am I having that same awkward feeling when Baymax mentioned about puberty?!

"Okay, I don't need to speak about this right now. Not ever in a million years with you." I disapprovingly swing my arms apart.

Tadashi chuckles once more. Why do my cheeks burn when he laughs all the time?

"Just saying, little brother. As the oldest, it's my responsibility to guide you through your awkward teenage phase." Tadashi fists his hand passionately.

"Yeah yeah, can we stop talking about this now?" I mumble, drifting my view somewhere else to change my train of thoughts. I wonder if I would feel awkward about this if it wasn't for this awkward situation I was in.

We keep walking around silently, crowd of people passing by us as they hurried to their shopping.

I look around, getting a bit tired of window shopping until I come across a certain window display.

The window display has two mannequins that wore frilly women clothes. One had a cream-color dress, frills at the bottom and on the end of the long-sleeves. The skirt of the dress has ruffles and two white ribbons on the side that matches the bigger on that's on the middle of the collar of the dress. The other mannequin wears a black blouse, frills at the end of the sleeve and a black skirt that matches it.

Something about these clothes seem familiar to me…

"Do you want to go inside?" Tadashi asks behind me.

I almost yelp from suddenly hearing his voice. "Isn't this a boutique though? For girls?" I narrow my eyes at him, not sure if he's playing around with me.

"They have some clothes for boys as well. I come here some times. Come." Tadashi motions to follow him as he walks in. I quickly follow him back, interested on what he just said. "You came here before?" I curiously ask. He nods his head as he makes his way through the small store, possibly where the boys clothes were.

"Yea, I sometimes accompany Honey here when she goes shopping."

"Oh, I see."

My thoughts from this morning comes back to me. Does Tadashi has a thing for Honey? The reason why I was so familiar with the clothes from the display was because the girls from Tadashi's videos mostly wore them. Does Tadashi likes girls in these kind of clothing?

I stop on my thoughts and track and look at the closest outfit to me. A light blue dress with white peter-pan collar and a dark blue ribbon around the waist is the closest to me. I grab the fabric, examining it and feeling how soft it is on my fingers.

"Do you like the dress?"

I immediately snap my hand behind my back when a lady, possibly around her early twenties, smiles at me. She has long black hair that's in twin tails and wears a short, frilly white dress with a white sweater and white flats. I figure she works here when I spot a name tag on her.

"It'll definitely look cute on you" she continues as she takes the dress from the rack and place it in front of me.

"N-No, wait! I'm not-"

"Oh, I think we need a bigger size for you, I think a medium will fit you better."

"A m-medium?' I stutter. I'm not sure what makes me more uneasy: the fact that she thinks I'm interested in buying a dress or that a medium size for _ladies clothes_ can possibly fit me.

"Did you found something that you like?" Tadashi asks as he walks from behind me." I almost jolt from where I'm standing. Seriously, he needs to stop sneaking on me like that!

The lady seem to get excited when she sees Tadashi besides me. "Oh, is this your boyfriend?"

I immediately gawk at the employee and I can feel my face growing red with embarrassment.

Tadashi tilts his head in confusion and looks at her and then me.

"What?"

"She was looking at this dress and I think it would be nice if she try it on for you."

"She?"

"S-She?!"

Tadashi looks back and forth between us until he realizes what's going on.

"Oh!" He chuckles. "This isn't my girlfriend, _he'_ s my brother" He corrects her as he place his hand on my shoulder.

The employee's face quickly changes into many shade of pink before she turns bright red.

"I-I'm so sorry, I d-didn't know he was your b-brother!" she apologizes, quickly bowing her head down.

Tadashi takes the dress from her which causes her to blush even more. He place the light blue dress in front of me like she did before and I raise my eyebrow at him.

"It does look cute on you."

It's my turn for my face to go red once again. "W-What are you saying?!"

The lady claps her hand together. "Oh, so your brother cross dresses?"

I'm about to lose it when that statement came out of her mouth.

Tadashi laughs and shakes his head when he puts the dress back to its rack. "No but I can't deny that it'll look cute on him."

The employee giggles and looks up at Tadashi. "I know right! That was my first thought when I was first saw him."

Getting fed up with this absurd situation, I walk myself out of the boutique, face still red as a tomato.

Tadashi soon follows back, catching up with me. "Hiro wait! I'm sorry, we were just having a little fun."

I snap my head at him, glaring at him with heated eyes. "By we, do you mean you and _her_? I can't believe you use me like that to flirt with that girl! What, are you into girls with frilly clothes or something?"

Tadashi raises his eyebrow with a puzzle expression. "What? What are you talking about?"

I turn my head away, shaking my head furiously as I continue to walk away. "Never mind! Just forget about it."

A hand gently hold my shoulder, stopping me on my tracks.

"Hiro, I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you."

Tadashi turns me around to see my pouty face, eyes almost teary.

"More like offend me" I murmur, not making eye contact with him.

Two arms embrace me, my face meeting Tadashi's warm chest. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you like that in public. Will you forgive me?"

I lean in my head a bit so my forehead will rest on his chest. "Whatever, let's just go home, I'm tired."

His hands ruffles my hair and I step back to start walking.

"I'll buy you the mega bucket fill with gummy bears at the candy store on our way."

"Make that _two_ mega buckets!"

I pick another gummy bear from the bucket and flick it into my mouth as I turn a page of Tadashi's new reference book. Right now I'm lying down on my bed, reading Tadashi's book as he takes a shower. For the first time in a while, he's going to sleep here for tonight. Throughout the weeks he was mostly sleeping on his lab or over at a friend's house since it's closer to the school. Sometimes it feels like he doesn't even live here anymore.

Tadashi steps in, fully clothes on his night-wear with a towel on his head.

"Don't eat too much candy or your stomach is going to hurt." Tadashi lectures me as he closes the led.

"What's the point of you buying this if I can't eat it?" I question.

"You don't need to eat the whole thing in one night you knucklehead." Tadashi comments as he prepares his bed.

I mock him a bit before putting his book on my desk, also getting ready to sleep.

"It's been awhile since I slept here." Tadashi said.

"Yea, it sure has." I comment back.

He turns off the lights once I'm tuck in. "Night Hiro"

"Night"

For some odd reason I can't stand Tadashi being here. Maybe because it prevents me to do that _thing_ I've been doing or because it seems odd to know he's sleeping under his deepest secrets. Or maybe because I can't stop thinking about inappropriate things about my brother's possible taste in women. I close my eyes, trying to clear my head off from all this nonsense.

" _Don't think too much, you can't masturbate now."_


	3. Chapter 3

Its been a week since Tadashi and I hanged out together that weekend. He only stayed at home during those two days and went back to his lab to work on his robotic friend. Half of me was disappointed that he went back, leaving both Aunt Cass and I alone. I can feel myself developing an abandonment complex but I don't want to look too deep into it. But the other half was relief that he left, so I can be alone with his dirty videos. I'm such a bad brother… Not only did I wanted him gone, but I was also invading his privacy, his personal space. We have a silent agreement to respect each other's privacy and space in our room yet I'm breaking that behind his back.

I sigh as I scribbled a few words on my paper, not paying attention to the lecture. Anyways, it's pointless to take notes for a class that's not even part of my major.

"Pssst, are you alright, Hiro?"

I feel a gentle tap on my arm and I look up to see a concerned Wasabi. I give him a genuine smile, giving him a thumbs up. He returns the gesture and resumes taking notes. I'm starting to appreciate Wasabi more. We've been hanging out more often than usual lately. He and Honey Lemon are the only ones that know about how lonely I feel because of Tadashi. Wasabi focuses more on checking up on me and asks if I needed anything while Honey works on reminding Tadashi about seeing me once in a while. I'm happy she's not being a big pushover about it. It'll be embarrassing for me if Tadashi ends up knowing how I feel about his absence. I'm almost 15, I shouldn't act like a brat and always needing attention from my big brother. Unfortunately, that's how I am and I get so grouchy if Tadashi doesn't give me his attention. How pathetic.

The professor dismisses his class and reminds everyone about the upcoming test. I pack my belongings and I feel another gentle tap on my shoulder.

"Want to get lunch together? GoGo will also join in." Wasabi invites me with a smile.

I excitingly nod as I swing my backpack onto my shoulder. "Sounds great!"

Wasabi informs me he's trying to get a pet of his own. He's choosing between a turtle or a Sphynx cat. He wants a companion without the shedding or the fur. His first thought was a lizard until he found out he had to feed them insects. I chuckle as he makes a disgusted face.

We're on our way to a burger joint where GoGo will meet us. It's only three blocks away from school. I'm so happy I wasn't going back home by myself.

Wasabi's phone alerts him with a beep. He reaches inside his pocket and slides his finger across the screen. He lets a sigh and gives me an apologetic smile.

"GoGo won't be able to make it. Do you still want to go?" he asks.

"I don't mind just the two of us." I reply quickly. I can't let myself be alone!

His smile brightens and places his phone back into his pocket. "Great! I'm starving."

We picked a booth and we sat across from each other. We placed our order: mine is a classic cheese burger with a strawberry milkshake and Wasabi's was an avocado crunch with onion rings.

We had a comfortable silence between us until Wasabi started talking.

"So how are you holding up?"

The question is expected as always but it made me slightly anxious. Ever since Wasabi invited me for lunch, I'm not sure if I should mention about what I learned about Tadashi. But maybe I can get some answers from him.

"I'm alright. Just been bored." I shrug. It went back being quiet till I look up to Wasabi. "Do you know how long it'll take?"

I can see Wasabi trying to be gentle and sincere with me about Tadashi, afraid that anything he'll say might hurt me.

"The project is expected to take the whole year but the professor expects his students to at least work on it for a semester, while the other semester is for the paper. I don't see why Tadashi is working so hard on it, going as far as living in the lab but I respect his decision and dedication." He twirls a straw between his finger and meets my eyes with his. "I heard he wished that you would visit him and see him occasionally at the lab." He hesitates.

His face reads concern, probably because of mine. I'm in disbelief.

"How come you don't visit him? Maybe even stay with him a few nights with him." Wasabi reassures. Calmly, I lean back against the cushion, looking down on the table. "I can't stay long in the lab; Aunt Cass needs me at the café. Also, I feel like I'll bother him." Wasabi nods, not asking more about the subject anymore.

I use to visit Tadashi, that was the FIRST thing I did when he started his project. However, instead of us bonding over science, Tadashi won't look or talk to me directly. He mumbled his responses or not answer at all when I ask him questions. When I tried to help, he quickly stopped me and reassured me he had things under control. All I could do was look at him work, until he kicks me out of the lab. I felt like a nuisance and I felt terrible when Tadashi ignored me, my existence! I rather him doing it indirectly THAN directly. It's less painful.

I look up to see Wasabi scrolling around his phone, possibly feeling awkward from my weird change of mood. I decide to make things interesting and even tease Wasabi a bit.

"Can I ask you a question? It's about Tadashi." I stand up, leaning forward

Wasabi immediately focus his view on me from his phone. His eyes gleam with hope, more than happy for the change of mood. "What's up?"

I can't help but smile at Wasabi. I really hope he can give me anything juicy about this subject. If I can't learn about Tadashi from himself, I'll use his friends to get every detail and information I can.

"Tell me, what kind of girls does my brother like?"


	4. Chapter 4

With every inch of my body, I remain calm and collected as I enjoy watching Wasabi's flustered face. It'll be hard not to bully or tease the guy, especially since he's this expressive. No one will expect this from Wasabi, people will assume he's the calm, collected, and daring guy. In reality, he's a cuddly bear that is not too excited for any trouble.

Wasabi blinks a few times, wondering where the question come from.

"How come you want to know?" he asks, taking a few sips of his water.

"Oh, so you do know something about that matter." I smile. Learning anything new about Tadashi has become a weird hobby of mine. Maybe I should tone it down a bit? But how can I when the answer to the question I've been asking myself these couple of weeks is right in front of me!

Wasabi rubs his neck and avert his eyes around, as if he's putting his life in danger if he spilled anything about the subject.

"Again, why do you want to know? Isn't that something you should ask _him_ and not me?"

Before I can reply, the waitress comes with our lunches. Wasabi visibly sighs in relief. I'm not sure if it was because of the hunger or the conversation. Once she left, I quickly bring my subject back into action.

"If I can't have a decent conversation with him, what makes you think he will respond to the question? C'mon, help a brother out, why don't ya?" I plead, dramatically clasping my hands together and give him my best puppy-dog eyes.

Wasabi slightly wince, I can see him struggling, whether he shall spill the beans or keep himself from gossiping about his friend behind his back. In defeat, he sighs and takes an onion ring.

"Promise you won't tell?"

"I promise!"

Victory!

He takes a bite from the fried vegetable and composes himself. "Tadashi isn't really the type to be chasing after girls" He starts. "but when we were younger, probably around middle school, he had a huge crush on Gogo.

I can feel my jaw drop from the sudden reveal. Tadashi and Gogo? Did he tell her, did she knew? Did they go out? Did they…do things together?

My face immediately flush when I imagine younger Tadashi and Gogo skipping class just to meet somewhere to kiss. Or maybe-

"He never told her until late high school, as something to joke about. And Gogo said she never noticed. And I believe her, Tadashi hid his feelings pretty well. And he didn't seem interested in going out with her either, he just couldn't stop talking to me about her." Wasabi chuckles.

I chuckle as well, hiding my sigh of relief. For some reason, it would have disturbed me if those two were an item. If those two were-

I stop myself from thinking too much. It seriously became a nasty habit for me thinking about Tadashi's personal love life. I don't understand why it would disturb me so much, to the point where it'll make me feel nauseous.

"Does he still have feelings towards her?" I ask naturally, surprising myself that I didn't sound too anxious about the answer.

"Nope." Wasabi answers back after chewing his burger.

Another sense of relief.

"Later during high school, I think freshman year, he had a thing for Honey Lemon.

 _What._

"And so did she."

 _What?!_

"But they were never an item, I think Tadashi was worried about possibly ruining their friendship so he never made a move on her. I don't know about Honey but I'm sure she thought the same way."

I can feel my stomach doing summersaults at every word in those sentences. It's getting hard keeping my calm and collected posture.

I let out a laugh, surprising myself, and take a sip of my milkshake. "I can't believe my bro had a thing for those two." I chuckle, shaking my head. So it's true, there's no doubt that _maybe_ Tadashi thought about those two as he watched those videos. I can feel the milk not settling well in my stomach.

Wasabi chuckles, covering his mouth. "I told you he wasn't the type to be chasing after girls himself. It made sense that he ended up interested with the girls that were already close to him. Besides, it's common to crush over friends, I bet everyone in our group crushed over each other but in the end, we're best off as friends."

I can hear the gratitude in his voice, as if he's thankful that everyone can still be together peacefully, no possible break-ups or fights endangering their circle.

I smile back, somehow sharing that same gratitude with him but for a different, and maybe selfish, reason.

~OoO~

After finishing our lunch, we decided to study as well for the Bio test. Because of my question, Wasabi started sharing stories about him and his friends when they were younger. He commented how he felt bad bringing the stories up in front of Fred, since he joined the circle in the beginning of freshman year. I can see that but knowing Fred, he will just be excited and happy to hear those stories.

Right now, I'm walking my way to the outdoor mall, heading towards the bookstore. I invited Wasabi but he needed to head back to work on his own project. I swear, I need to make hell to whatever professor assigned that project.

I occupy my head with what I learn about Tadashi today. I wanted to ask if Tadashi still had feelings for Honey but at that moment it felt too much. Now I'm drowning with regret not asking Wasabi that, it wouldn't have been too weird or suspicious.

 _Suspicious._

Why suspicious? What am I making this a big deal? Every kid in this planet has been curious about their sibling's past interests or relationships at some point. Their reason: black mail material or just something to tease them about. But none of those were _mine_ reasons, mine is different. I wanted to know so I can figure out what's going on in Tadashi's head as he watched those videos. I wanted to know who he fantasized about when he watched those pornographic videos.

I stop at my track, causing a man to bump against me and send me a quick glare before continuing his walk.

Is that really it? Am I really intrigued about Tadashi's thoughts as he jerked off? But why?! Why am I so curious, so infatuated about what he thinks?!

I touch my cheek, it's warm and soft. I don't like how warm it is.

 _I'm so weird, I'm so gross, what's wrong with me?_

I can feel a tear sliding down my cheek, meeting my fingertips. I quickly rub them away and went inside the nearest store. I need to relax, regain myself. I'm completely losing it!

"Hello! Welcome back!"

I look up to see a familiar girl with twin tails. I look around my area and I see that I went inside the boutique from last time. I never thought I'll see her again, especially how she embarrassed me in front of Tadashi. I take a quick look of her and this time she's wearing a black frilled skirt with a white, sleeveless blouse that hugged her pudge and chest nicely.

I give her a small, hesitant smile.

"Hey…"

She gleams up and steps closer. "How can I help you? Are you looking for anything specific?"

I rapidly shake my head. What to do, it'll be weird if I just walk out! And I don't want her to think that I'm here to buy a dress like she assumed last time.

"Urm… I mean, can you show me where the guys clothes are? I never got the chance to see it…"

She nods happily and leads me to the section, informing me about their deals and sales they're having. The section is all the way in the back and for some reason, it kinda annoyed me how small it was.

"If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask!" she smiles brightly. I know she means well and she's no jerk, but her bright, cherry attitude is annoying me so much. It's like I'm staring right at the Sun and the Sun happens to be the sweetest being alive.

"Thank you." I nod, already pretending to be interested on the clothes in front of me.

"I'm sorry about last time..."

I turn my head to look at her but she's already walking her way to another customer. I guess that event was embarrassing for her as it was for me.

I went back staring at the clothes, trying to remember why I was here in the first place.

"Why am I being so stupid." I mumble to myself, picking up a baby blue sweater.

 _Am I really that dependent of Tadashi? Does it really take him to ignore me just a bit for me to self-destruct?_

I inspect the sweater a bit, enjoying the soft fabric.

 _I really miss Tadashi…_

I take the sweater to the check-out, pay it and wave at the girl good-bye as I leave the store.

 _I want him with me, right now._


End file.
